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In a crazy freak accident, a grandmother bought some drain cleaner to unblock her sink, and ended up burning her face when she put two drops in the sink drain.

Sheila Insch had bought the Extreme Green’s Dr Drain from B&Q’s Hedge End store in Netley Abbey, Hampshire and ended up being treated in Southampton Hospital.

Mrs Insch said: “I read the instructions and put two drops in, we hadn’t used any other product that day, only the plunger.

“It started to bubble so I turned round to see what was happening and it exploded, it hit the ceiling and went straight into my face.

You’re sitting on the beach, drinking one of those concoctions in a coconut shell where the little umbrella keeps trying to poke out your eye. A real looker (in a swim suit that’s barely there) walks by and you pretend not to stare. The sun is giving your skin a golden glow and you decide to stay in that spot forever.

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The new series of BBC’s Doctor Who will not only have a new Doctor, it will also have a new writer and a new assistant!

 Karen Gillian is the lucky girl who will star as Amy Pond, who joins the doctor after being picked up wearing a policewomans uniform, but it will be revealed later that, far from being a copper, she was actually a Strip-O-Gram. This will give the show the excuse to show her in lots of skimpy costumes in the series, perhaps appealing to middle-aged Doctor freaks?